This visitation dream happened exactly two weeks after my very best friend, Byron Keith Byrd, left the earth. Through my dreams, he is as present for me now as he was when he was physically here.
Dream: I am in line to get a driver’s license with Byron’s niece, Stefani. They choose me first, but Stefani ends up going ahead, which feels fine. We’re up there together and the woman behind the counter says my turn is next. I am wearing a white tee shirt and thinking about how I will look in photo. The woman is commenting on how we are all one family.
Suddenly, Byron appears looking well and healthy. He puts his arms around me and says, “She brought me back to New York to paint and be here,” saying how important that was to him.
And he’s calling me Ellie, and he’s hugging and kissing me, and he’s saying, “You knew, Ellie; it’s only love, and you knew! Stefani and Byron and I walk off together, and the woman is again saying, “Oh look, they’re all family.” She is in awestruck by the amount of love we are experiencing.
Context: For many summers, Byron came to be with me, my husband and my sons on our farm in upstate New York. We would paint endlessly and be our loving, joyful, free-spirited selves…it was magical. The summer before he transitioned, he was in Florida, and struggling emotionally. I knew he needed to be here and had to talk him into our visit. For some reason, we decided on a one-way ticket.
Our time here was strange and strained; I was unaware that he was also having health issues, and clearly something was wrong. By the end of his trip, we were somewhat estranged, and I was seriously concerned about him on many levels. Over the next few months, our estrangement grew.
On October 11th 2023, Byron sent me poem written in 1910 by Henry Scott Holland, called “Death is Nothing at All,” which speaks of “absolute, unbroken continuity.” With the text, Byron wrote, “For ur book,” as he knew I was working on another one.
Twelve days later, on October 23rd, 2023, Byron suddenly died. This visitation dream was all the proof I needed that death really is nothing at all.
Feeling of the dream:
Arizona, 2020
This dream was so visceral; so somatic…I FELT Byron kissing and nuzzling me. I felt his soft, kind of mushy Byron body and I completely felt his love. The fact that he says something so meaningful as he is kissing me, “It’s only love, Ellie and you knew” also puts it in the visitation category. Further, one of his nicknames for me was Ellie, I knew he needed to come to New York, and both of our Souls knew he would never leave (hence the one-way ticket).
Byron also appears well and strong and so happy in the dream. When I first woke up, I could still feel him kissing and nuzzling me – it was extraordinary! I thought he was still alive, then realized he IS alive in spirit and just visited me. It was such a profound, loving and incredibly comforting experience that I thanked him and told him I felt so much love.
Images and Symbols:
Painting in my studio, July, 2023
Psyche loves metaphors, and I’m getting a “license”…as I unpack this visitation dream now, I feel like I was being given “license” to have more and more of these experiences. Byron passed on 10/23/24, and I’ve lost count of the dreams and visits since then…I’ve had two more, just this week.
Byron’s ongoing presence in my dream life is in my top remarkable experiences of life. We paint, we talk, we play; we even discuss what it’s like on the other side. The love and joy we share as I sleep feels as true and present as the love and joy we shared in the waking world. While of course I completely miss Byron physically, somehow, our time in dreamlife takes the edge off my pain. For all of it, I am forever grateful.
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